PSA : Towels... More dangerous than you think.

 Yep it is. It's Tuesday which means raid night. I will be ignoring my adoring interwebz followers for a raincheck death in ICC. I had planned on blogging tonight but this is what you folks are getting: An extremely brief blur of an update. Here we go.


I have come to the conclusion I am in possession of assassin bath towels. Yes you heard it here people.. the towels are out to get us all. Oh No, don't let the innocent flower placement fool you. This is what happened: I was climbing from the shower all fresh and clean, onto a bath towel (that I carefully placed on the tile) to prevent breaking my fool neck on the ceramic tub. When out of nowhere a rogue wrinkle assaulted my right foots Metatarsal/Tarsal joint with an unprovoked and depraved bulge!

I know.. my hands are still shaking from the trauma... *sighs* I'm considering suing for the PTSD that I am experiencing every time I see a washcloth, hand towel, and paper towel product. How am I supposed to go on like this!?!

I went to the ER under duress... knowing full well there would most likely be at least some paper robes with open backs in my future. The nurses smirked at me as they waved thin cotton sheets and patted the xray table. I gave it all I had and managed to get through it with the most minute amount of screeching and flailing.

The radiologist looked over the films and decided that He "wasn't sure if anything was broken" patted me on the head and sent me home with an ace bandage and pain killers.

Okay well that's it for now I'm late!

Mwah!
R

I Love My Effen Kids!

From left to right~ Gavin, Paetyn, Deven 

Man my kids are retarded.... They fight and snark on an hourly basis, some days I completely understand why animals eat their children. Today my son got his ADHD medicine a few hours late and he was so full of energy that I swear he sounded like a transformer.

*Hummm..... Mom mom mom mom mom... pop tart, I wanna pop tart! Mom mom...Hummm....*

I wanted to strangle them in Lowes. We went to pick up a few more plants for my veggie garden and people were looking at me like I fed them Crack Brownies for breakfast.

Luckily for them I have invested precious genetic material, resources, and time into the little heathens.So strangling them is not such a great idea. (Side note: I hear it may actually be illegal as well.)

If I ever did decided to terminate them, it would be wise of me (as a mammal) to actually re-ingest all of that hard work... All the vitamins and minerals that I graciously gave them in utero...  not to mention the massive amount of resources invested since birth.

But, to be honest I don't eat much red meat.. Before you interject, Yes, I have heard (from some) that they taste more like chicken... they obviously haven't read this article that says it is more like beef.

What?!? If you spent months making a Cheese Nip... then you kept said Cheese Nip safe (from would-be Cheese Nip nappers) for years... you wouldn't just toss it in the trash would you? Of course not.. if someone is going to nom on your Nip it should be you. LMAO

So I suppose if I was feeling extra murdery one day, I could just order this product and fulfill my craving for offspring flesh.

Nom Nom Nom

So... since rendering them to stew isn't a viable option any longer. I do a lot of breathing and counting and finger pointing... If I combine the finger pointing with the classic *mommy has crazy eyes* expression they usually react with the appropriate amount of fear and awe and behave.

That's all for now. Mwah!
Cyb

Rapture?

Seriously people? Ever been so flabbergasted by someones ignorance that you just wanted to grab their short and curlies and hold them hostage until they listen to reason? No? Okay then just me...

This past month I have been bombarded with billboards on the roadways in my town (Houston, Texas) as well as pages upon pages on the Internet of Rapture nonsense. I have a lot to say about the subject as well as on the "Prophet" that proclaimed a set time and date. Now I could go and recite bible verses that will appeal to the Christian sensibilities that state that no one will know the time that the judgment will come like a thief in the night... But if I recite those verses then I need to also point out that these believers were Christians.

So that may not work. As a matter of fact Most Christians mocked this guy just as much as me. But heres the thing some people didn't. Here is one woman that completely agreed with his prediction and acted out of fear:



And here is a man that believed in the rapture and decided to kill his pets to save them from the wrath of His God:





*Rolls eyes* Wake the FUCK up people.. the world has been ending for a few thousand years already.. I am just about fed up with people crying wolf.. on my roadway billboards... and filling up my damn news pages with silly superstitious blubbering. No there is no rapture.. There is no tooth fairy, no easter bunny, no Santa Claus... no God.. What there is though, is this day, right now. This hour, your life, your children and loved ones..

There is a reason to live without God. So I say to you: Evolve or go extinct. Just stop and think about it for a minute... if you are killing off your offspring for an absentee God ... Who will be left to worship Him once you have eaten a lead salad? 

Cyb